Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
Two hours into move in day and the ambulance is here already.
Dude, the cops never think it's as funny as you do.
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
The bar has bullet holes in the ceiling, and the country singer had been playing drunken weezer covers. A man just bought me a beer on the grounds that I 'have his back' in a fist fight with a stranger texan. And, yes, the bartender is wearing a sherif's badge
Worrying about "What smells like cat pee?" is so much easier than worrying about "What am I doing with my life?"
I spilled beer everywhere which led to an oil fire and me melting a spatula again. And then I was late to class so I explained what happened to the teacher.
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
He added me to his contacts as 'boot and rally'...have you ever been more proud to be related to me?
I can't wait to tell mom.
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
Randomize