So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
If immigrants and dwarves find love, why can't I?
Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
That's so unfortunate for him bc you can always find another penis, but he's stuck with it
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
well I have to shit but I'm too hungover to push, and I snorted advil so I wouldn't have to swallow it and throw up.. hungover is an understatement.
Who knew drunk me could climb a 17 story building for apple juice and sex
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
I think you'll be amused to know that I achieved the impossible feat of tripping over my own dick
the bad thing about being great at twerking is that I'm powerless to stop myself from doing it when I'm drunk and in public.
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
Randomize
