So shortly after drunk sex...she starts crying and saying..." you don't care about me, you never do anything nice for me" so I called her a cab
there is cereal in my wallet where all the cash used to be.
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation.
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
Dude, Taco Bell gave me a free fiesta potatoes when I won a bet on wether I could fit the entire rim of a cup in my mouth.
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo?
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
Apparently I was drunk enough to call he police station and ask if there was a problem with me.
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
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