She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
The to do list extremely baked self wrote for me last night says "1. Join gym 2. Passport? 3. Join a gym" And then just a drawing of a squid
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
I didn't know where we were going to start fucking, so I just strategically hid condoms all over the house before he came over.
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
Like he and the nurses kept being so persistent with it and I just wanted to run out of there in my backless gown and yell FUCK OFF BITCHES IM OUT
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
I just apologized to a wet floor sign i walked into.
APPARENTLY I MISSED SOMEONE SWALLOWING A WHOLE BAG OF METH WHILE I WAS ON BREAK.
Randomize
