people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
I'm not upset with you; I'm upset with Fox News.
Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
i saw a stretcher and literally ran around for 10 minutes telling people it wasnt for me
I could seriously attempt to try and saw my head in half with a butter knife cause im pretty sure it could not hurt any more than it already does
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
Im blowing my nose and the only thing coming out is beer
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
Hey do you know who I showed my dick to at the bar last night?
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
Nothing is working I'm going to die alone and on hold with a State Farm representative
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
It’s official. I’ve hooked up with all three brothers now
You should go after Dad now
I should! He’s definitely middle age fuckable
Randomize