No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
i think you know its gunna be a bad day when it starts with throwing up into a red plastic cup
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
In complete seriousness I think I am the highest person on earth
Going to a professional golf course at 2am to throw the flag poles like javelins
I put chex mix in your purse for when you get hungry while doing your walk of shame tomorrow!
Next time you're baked eat baked beans and potato chips together. Like dip them in the beans. It's so good
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
All the doctor said was why
Fuck you. Fuck this party. I just wanted to be pretty with a cute little tiara and boys sucking my tits, now i have a hangman game drawn on my face and jello shots in my hair.
I wanted to give you a great birthday party. You know I did.
When we were in Vegas he tried to get an Elvis impersonator to act dead on a toilet so he could take photos. This is even worse
Randomize
