woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
We turned a watering can into a margarita bong.
It's okay I didn't send any nudes tonight so we are safe *inserts photo of a baseball umpire doing the safe signal*
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
That isn't the worst part. It got a bazillion times more awkward when he read me a poem he wrote about his dead cat.
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
Nothing wrong with a little cat scratch fever. You have toys?
A few, plus a dildo molded from a porn star that I've always been too intimidated of to actually use, but it's the apocalypse, and momma didn't raise no quitter.
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