Flowers- 20. Dinner-50. Drinks- 25. Hotel- 150. The look on his face when I tell him I'm on my period? Priceless.
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
I can't cum and do my makeup at the same time.
Woke up this morning on my couch at 6am fully dressed including heels, holding half a corn dog. I called you last night when I was buying the corn dog from a street vendor, I think.
I am in love with you.
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
Also, fighting a very strong urge to nickname your dick Whitey Bulger, at least for today.
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
I'm basically just sitting in the porta poTty finishing my bottle of champagne bc I am too lazy to carry it back to the tailgate
The molly dropped while I was taking a shit. Do you have any idea how scary that is?
That does not seem like timing
10/10 dentists agree that he is one bangable mother fucker. hint: i am all of these dentists.
I miss forts and drugs that made me believe in unicorns...
I woke up this morning cradling my vibrator like it was a baby
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
The shitshow that was last night is the gift that just keeps on giving
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