she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
Just used the salt in the bottom of my mcdonalds bag from last night on the eggs i made this morning. Way too hungover for this
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
If a hot cougar texts u and says "back massage, blow job".... you show the fuck up.
Is "sorry I booted you out mid-fuck last night" a good icebreaker?
I literally just biked home like I was on the last leg about to win the tour du France. Fuck diarrhea
We need a bunch of roses, some chocolate, 2 cops, a mariachi band, and a thermometer
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
HAVE BEEN SPEAKING IN RUSSIAN ACCENT FOR 5 HOURS
SHIRT GONE
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
if jesus wore shoes made out of pure flavor and hurricane kicked u in the face thats how it feels to eat pizza bites right now
Randomize
