Our Neighbors are trying to steal our ducks!
I really hope your girlfriend didnt have your phone while i texted how much i loved doing it in HER car with you :x
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
I keep waking up with the nagging feeling I gave him half a hand job through his shorts.
I don't know what he did to me, but he did it wrong. I think my pelvis is broken. I cant even drive without it hurting. What. The. Fuck.
I'd rather just be alone, than deal with this bullshit. I just want to be alone. Cats and vibrators never let you down.
He screamed AMERICA, took a shot of vodka out of a Tupperware container, and then asked if he could see my tits
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
I just discovered I can sober up while teaching class
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
My new favorite word is dickbag. I think its relevant here. And I say that with all the love in the world.
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
Getting a smaller wine glass hasn’t changed the amount I drink—it just means I get more steps each day. Cheers to health!
Randomize
