Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
I'm drunk. And at a vegan cafe. You would hate it. Don't tell my hipster friend but I kinda hate it too.
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
He asked what my name was on facebook chat. IT SAYS RIGHT THERE. i will never be drunk enough for this guy.
i dont even feel safe using a push mower...that hungover
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
I feel like I took a shit on my life and you're rubbing my nose in it.
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed
I'm debating a nap but also debating breaking into the liquor cabinet
My tinder date wouldn't stop talking about the Star Wars movie trailer long enough to fuck me. HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?
The cops high fived after they tackled you
It took me longer to jump start my car and get to his house than the fucking actually took.....
I woke up on the couch screaming in pain. I don't know how ended up there or why my foot was double the size. all I know is I'm now in a cast and never drinking tequila again. worst hangover ever.
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