google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
She was Ugg boots AND a Bumpit. Of course I didn't sleep with her.
Locked out of the apartment with just a box of wine way to begin the weekend.
literally the only thing you kept saying was "i wish i had a beer keg vending machine that accepted hugs as payment" and everytime you said it you rubbed the urn her grandmother's remains were in
Honestly, your dog is in better hands with that homeless guy.
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
Ya. I wonder how much being a beard for a major league baseball player pays. This could be a lucrative arrangement...
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.
I cunt my lip shaving. That's not a typo, it's a placement clue
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
Dude, please tell me you know why there's a naked chick asleep outside my room.
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
Omg I'm having dinner at chilli's with a guy who is arguing that getting a weed leaf tatoo on his neck will prevent him from getting a job as a dental assistant
Well that actually sounds reasonable
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