I'm trying this new thing, it's called standards
I ate one of your animal crackers. just one. ok four. but no frosting. ok frosting.
How is it that lesbians won't hit on me at a gay club, but they'll hit on me every time I go to Walmart?
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
We should bet how many people are going to get alcohol poisoning next weekend and whoever wins gets a free Starbucks.
Okay, who took a picture of their pubes shaved into a dragon on my phone and made it the background?!
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
But I got head on a boat yesterday which was sweet until a bald eagle flew over. Then it became life affirming.
FACT: You were laying down on top the bar letting randoms do bodyshots off you until someone told theyre friend "its time to roll, i wanna hit another bar" and you literally rolled your self right off the bar. have fun explaining your bruises tomorrow
Randomize
