I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
I can't wait until next week, when I find out what drunk me added to the Netflix queue.
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
I have no words
Neither did my mom, when she walked in on me squating with my balls in a cup of hot water.
It doesn't matter how many times you look in your purse, Your keys are not going to be there. Maybe you left them at the bar.
Maybe they fell out of my pocket last night when I rolled down the hill.
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
Sorry for all the texts. I got wasted and woke up at the foot of a staircase. From what I can gather, I fell down it.
My cousin is passed out in my room, so I just masturbated in my walk-in closet. Apparently I get off on danger. Make note of that.
I just called my boyfriend "Dad"... Awkward
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
Literally just took 6 shots in the shower..I’ve got this.
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
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