and this is why I hate my dad. He got 25x more angry with me when I wanted to drive a different route then he suggested to get to his house (more scenic- thus more enjoyable) then he did when I told him I was driving drunk with 4 people in the car and I got my 5th speeding ticket last night.
Espresso. Can't sleep. Love puppies
I found your dream girl. She looked 11 but drove and on her key chain it said "if i am not wasted the day is"
When god put her together, he was drunk & feeling creative... a vagina here, sexually ambiguous breasts there, and a pair of shoulders that would make a linebacker jealous
he told me my hair look so beautiful and as he was stroking it his fingers got caught in my BUMPIT. How are you supposed to explain that one?
woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
you and him went to the park at 2am to "catch a pigeon" and ACTUALLY CAME BACK WITH A PIGEON
Nothing says "First Single Holidays" quite like getting baked with the guy that took your virginity four years ago.
He saw my Halloween/ Costume closet and assumed I’m into cosplay. I’m going with it. What’s sexier, a cop or a nurse?
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