I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
One can only hope that this night would end with my thumb in another humans rectum.
I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
I don't have any swimsuits that don't show off the weird handprint bruises on my hips. Do you have a onepiece I can borrow?
Ok. So I've woke up in a hospital. New thing to top that.... Waking up and realizing you've been locked inside the bar by urself at 430 am and all the doors are locked by key
That is true. Vodka is like a dog. Always loyal, warm, and there for you when you need it
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
Why did you send me 12 pictures in a row of your expressionless face at 2:30 am?
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
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