i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
this blows. i told the guy at the bar that i was the DD and it was like i just announced over megaphone that i had genital herpes. no one will talk to me now.
Yeah, I think they knew. I smelled like that telltale combination of strippers and Easter.
She just came to my house, with puke in her hair, to wake up my dad and scream "happy fathers day you DILF!" at the top of her lungs
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
Bro, there is a rent-a-cop selling syringes out of the trunk of his car. This is why I hate the DMV.
I'm starting to think my role in the world is to inject batshit crazy, mentally unbalanced chicks with a dose of normal sperm.
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
I just put on lipstick to sext him. That should tell you where my love life is at.
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
Randomize
