you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
I'm having mini little movies in my head. Like for example. You were talking to a blue whale with jazz man sunglasses, but not the ray charles jazz sunglass. More like sunglasses that are round. Anyway, he has a baguette and stupid french hat. And you , you had your harry potter glasses.
If your wondering why there is a puddle on the floor is I may have decided to make a kiddie pool in your living room.
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
He got a new tattoo in prison. It's actually a good tattoo, making it that much harder for me to hold out until he's off house arrest.
Last year I got a dildo in the mail on my birthday. Today it was just a credit card bill. Sadface.
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
He was stoned laying on my bed singing I'm a little tea cup while I took a pregnancy test. Thank god it was negative.
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
Knows all the good gay bars AND has a dog? Wtf can't I drop pizza on guys like that????
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
Randomize
