The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
I have the worst farts today, I'm walking by the cubicles of people I don't like and leaving them surprises. Brb.
just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
It doesn't matter if I tell the story beginning to end or end to beginning, the story still starts with a random girl blowing me in the bathroom.
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
I woke up this morning in the house, I didn't realize it was physically possible to duct tape a person to the wall...
I guess I was trying to make a cheese sandwich, I had to change my sheets cuz I slept on it and the cheese melted all over me, Dave, and my bed
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
I just put vodka in my apple sauce. Spice up your fucking life.
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
It's a Saturday night and I am in bed with two cats, a bottle of Riesling, and I'm masturbating to Iron Man. I'm great at being 21.
Randomize
