I was cleaning out my bag and I found some xanax wrapped in plastic with a note that said "use in case of emergency"
Remind me to never go to the bar with your Asian friends again. I need to be able to read or pronounce what I'm drinking.
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
drunk guy next to me on the train just tried to share his pizza with me
he just tried to feed it to me...i love new york
...he tried to burn down someone's house once. ABORT ABORT ABORT
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
Everybody needs breakup sex. You just happened to get yours from a dude who hasn't reached the point of breakup yet. No biggie.
Never go with a hippy to a second location. I fucking hate Xanax.
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
i woke up on the floor in front of the fireplace and my last google search was "fuck sponges"
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
Let me set the mood for you. Do you remember Britney Spears in her Hit Me Baby One More Time era? Well I just fucked this college girl I shit you not her name is Persephone and she looks exactly like Britney Spears back when she was hot. I might be in love.
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