oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
Learn from me. When going to a booty call do not wear a belly shirt. Nothing says shame like a belly shirt at 7am.
Defrosting my uncrustable with my laptop...Hungover dinner
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
He lasted less than 30 sec. in bed and then sent me a friend request on LinkedIn. Wtf.
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
Randomize
