Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
I remember now some guy came over and hit on me and poured peppermint schnapps and chocolate syrup in my mouth. Pretty sure he was dressed like Santa....
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
It's not a real holiday until someone pees on you. Did someone pee on you?
A group of drunk Marines just serenaded me, never leaving this place
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
Legit sprained my cooter. No joke. Icing her down as we speak.
Randomize