I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
I told her I was team Edward. I haven't gotten laid that easy since I told your sister that I had cancer
We folded our dollar bills into airplanes. This really makes the strippers work for it. Like air miles.
Thanks for sticking it out with old horseface last night... I owe you one buddy.
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
When Vanessa's kindergarten teacher called me in because she was caught with her hand down some boys pants in the bathroom, I knew you babysat last week.
It'd be easier to list the surfaces my ass hasn't been on.
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
I asked him to sing a song so he couldn't hear me throwing up as he was holding my hair
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
Randomize
