Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
I feel like Captain Blackout doesn't do her justice. Brigadier General Blackout is much better.
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
Your topless pictures make me question reality
You motherfucker. I just had an MRI with a penny under my boob.
I have a theory that years from now they will be with women who despise me because of what I trained their husbands to like.
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
I'm not sure... How do you tell someone who was so smashed they couldn't remember shoving their dick into the fireplace that their mother actually witnessed the whole thing?
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
you should never start the day with a boob text. It can only go downhill from there
Pretty sure we ruined a bachelorettes life last night
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
found a note from drunk me saying "don't worry i fed the mice". WHAT MICE?
Randomize
