Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
i actually pissed myself from laughing when I saw the old man in lingerie carrying a spiderman purse. I dont know if he was real or if it was the tequila, but my head hurts.
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
Woke up the next morning in an 8 year old's bedroom. Saw my bra swinging from the spiderman ceiling fan and decided it would be best to dip out w/o it.
Yeah to go race car driving with a 54 yr old gastroenterologist. I really wish you'd come to have that drink with me Wednesday
Thank you for letting me get drunk enough to forget he was there tonight, but not drunk enough to make a complete fool of myself.
I learned a very valuable lesson tonight...don't touch a cops tazer
Mark my words I will never date another cop again. I don't care if he's JESUS.
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
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