I'm pants shitting drunk right now
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
Just threw up in the waiting room. I can't believe I have to switch dermatologists again.
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
If it makes you feel any better about life I'm wearing yoga pants with granny panties and toms with socks cause fuck my life
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
I drew you a picture of Jesus holding hands with Frida Kahlo as a token of my gratitude
You dropped a beer and it was like when wilson floated away. Complete with sobbing apologies
Shit, no womder she didn't wanna fuck me
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
I lost my wolf penis dildo in my garage. I should probably find it before I resume my garage sale tomorrow...
i think i just naturally attract stoners
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