Do you know how easy it would be to shoplift if I was a magician?!
DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
I'm at the casino and some dude apparently has money in an entire row of slot machines. Its like watching a really intense adult version of wack a mole
Do you remember that blonde girl he brought home from the bar on Friday night? She didn't leave until Monday afternoon. We didn't even know she was still in his room...what a sketchy weekend.
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
Wondering when "babysitting" formed into "sleeping on the couch for five hours nursing a hangover and giving the kids Nyquil."
So... Sorry I threw that watermelon at you the other day. I didn't think it would break any bones.
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
How do you nicely stand up a date that you're skipping for a 3sum
I thought the first time I got peed on it would be by a baby...
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
You know you're out of shape when you're sore after masturbating.
Randomize
