highlight from tonight: i hit on her and her mother.
let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
You know how i spent all of black friday on the plane? Well guess who's getting a x-mas gift from skymall?!!??
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
Having a pigeon watch you poop is just creepy. Drunk or not.
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
My first drink last night was a 2-liter of jameson and coke. So hung over it hurt to put my pants back on
At my eighteen year old cousin's wedding. Getting hit on by a 9 year old. No one knows who he came with. I'm pretty sure he just showed up from the field behind the church. Help.
I think this shark week should consist of getting drunk enough to actually go hunt sharks ourselves.
He added me to his contacts as 'boot and rally'...have you ever been more proud to be related to me?
I can't wait to tell mom.
Apparently I told him he would be good for human sacrifice.
Holy shit my cat won't leave the lube alone
If I had your ass I would rule the world
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
Randomize
