Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
Starbucks introducing alcohol. i hear angels singing.
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
What an age we live in that I can try to pick up a guy by using my phone while I'm taking a shit at work.
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
Also, I want you to know, that not only am I apparently the expert on sexting. Our bishop is consulting me later. So my talents are varied.
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
This is not my bathroom and these are not my pants
I mean, he's 40, foreign, artsy but with substance abuse problems and estranged children. How is he not my type?
Woke up and took my pants off only to realize that I was wearing my shirt from last night as my underwear
so hungover i had to get off the train to puke, rallied and went to work. not sure if that's an adulting win or fail
I ask him how he's going, like life and stuff, and he responds "20-0 pats"
Randomize