my mario cart skills improve with alchohol. and i think my real car skills do to but the cop didnt see my logic
spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
Katy Perry is on a Proactiv commercial. That "I kissed a girl" shit is so much less hot now.
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
Just found custom condoms. Guess I'm not getting any work done today.
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
Walking into my bedroom & smelling stale sex & disappointment isn't how I envisioned being 39, in case you were wondering.
That moment when you're in a room with 3 guys and know how big their dicks are. Then you are married to the one with the smallest dick.
Probably going to live on vodka sodas and fireball shots
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
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