well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
I'm going to get drunk on champagne by myself.
Oh no wait my cat's here. Thank god for a second there I sounded really sad.
you announced to everyone at the bar "fuck girls. they're confusing. im gonna start having sex with boys now"
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
it's finals week and we've been blasting country porch drinkin since 10AM. there's been like 4 tweets about hearin us on the other side of campus
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
I'm so hungover I can't taste anything
Giiirrrllll. Back to back snaps of dicks. Two different guys sent me their dick at the same time. This is totally what our founding fathers meant with life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
if I dont text you back in 10min assume i am in fact still dizzy and injured myself in the shower. and call an ambulance. thanx.
Randomize
