last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
woke up with a used condom shoved in my ear. i officially hate alcohol.
i am breaking up with you. because you wash your hair too much and you only drink light beer and because you're not party enough.
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
I'm wearing a real bra and real shoes. I look like a fucking lady.
Unfortunately hes not a hipster douchebag with no life goals, so naturally I'm not interested.
I had lunch with him today and quietly mourned his wasted good looks on such a disappointing set of genitals.
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
I showered three hours ago and yet feel the need for another one already. This is my day.
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
Randomize
