just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
After all the hair products he's stolen from me, he better fucking be gay.
hungover waitressing a bar association event. im being judged by actual judges.
I'm so tired of waking up with my bed full of deli meats.
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
WHY ARE THERE NO BLACK EMOJIS? I CAN NEVER PROPERLY IDENTIFY MYSELF.
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
He said the main reason he fucked me was cause of my storm trooper tattoo. IT ATTRACHES ALL THE HOT NERDS
You're gonna be sprawled out basking in the sun working on your tan like a ridiculously hot iguana, and I'm gonna be here bundled up in about 72 layers just so I don't freeze my dick off looking like the Michelin man's gay cousin
i apologize, I may have called you an iguana
Mistakes were made
That moment when you're in a room with 3 guys and know how big their dicks are. Then you are married to the one with the smallest dick.
If I call him daddy should I get him a father's day card? Serious question
Where am I? And why the fuck did you leave me here?
Relax. I left you somewhere safe plus you have all my weed so you know I will come back for you.
Last night’s booty call turned into a cuddlefest. Get your game face on, we’re hunting dick tonight
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