i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
i got so high last night i cried hysterically for like 5 minutes because i dont have any superpowers
Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
Please tell me your aunt didn't see the Brita pitcher full of condom wrappers. We had at least 100.
A woman on my train just walked down the carriage in a wedding dress, crying and clutching a can of Carlsberg. Oh...
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
Putting Chia seeds in beer makes it ok for my diet, right?
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
Also...I'm semi-dating the drug dealer that took me to bible study
I hate college football. It's really fucking with our phone sex schedule.
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
I don't wanna be 33 that's when Jesus died
Randomize
