Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
you know your drunk when 7 soccer players cant catch up to a tranny in high heels who just stole your wallet
he said i took off my shirt and wrote "help HATI" on my tits, and charged people to motorboat me..... i'd like to say i woke up with 267$ in my purse
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
Jesus just hopped over the fence with a rack of coors. How's your Halloween?
I will pray to the gods of eye bleach for you
I need to beat up a magician now. BRB.
A man bought two 40's from me, then asked if I had duct tape. How do people over 50 know about Edward 40hands? It was very weird.
So I got lost trying to find you guys and ended up proposing to a bride in a bachelorette party with a condom.
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
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