Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
you hand the children out the window. i'll pour the drinks.
His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
Sometimes I wish I could open my skin and just take a little peek at my liver. You know, just to see if it's rotten yet or still perfect looking.
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded.
Okay I know I said I was going to quit drinking for a while but apparently pumpkin pie flavored vodka is a thing and I will not rest until I have some.
Crying in Target on a display sofa is normal, right? Asking for a friend.
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
We kept having to tell you that you couldn't just sit wherever you wanted at Walmart. Sitting in the middle of the raw meat section was unacceptable and children were staring at you.
First day of school is awesome. I get to meet my students and figure out which of their mothers I’ I’m going to bang
This is my life. Currently ordering a gift for my straight married girlfriend's husband from my lesbian married girlfriend.
Randomize
