porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
We really need to stop competing to see who can get more drunk, and I REALLY need to stop winning.
I tried telling you she just blew me in the bathroom but you were too busy making out with her to listen
he keeps trying to sext me and all I can do is respond with descriptions of what im eating.
I am three bowls, two beers, and a muscle relaxer into babysitting. What are you doing.
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
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