One girl and one boy is just not enough.
Dude, a dry wedding reception should nullify the vows, because really, without the booze, you might as well be 5 years old again and playing dress-up
His shopping cart was nothing but malt liquor and zucchini.
And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
I feel like I should be doing a victory lap around my house to the rocky music, or zapping and smiting people with my mystic wizard powers
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
We were watchin sharknado and we hooked up while I had the Donald Trump shirt on. She said she felt like he was staring at her
I got myself off in the shower last night for the first time ever! I just looked like I was playing a game of twister.
I'm trying to behave my vagina this week so I can at least pretend I'm honoring the sanctity of marriage
I cannot take an uber back in my costume...can you please come get me?
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
Randomize
