i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
I kept waking up & seeing my Goodfellas poster and thinking it was a window with people crammed against it staring at me.
I guess the lighting in my room made it look like they were moving. I remember telling myself that they were watching over me and protecting me from the cops
If they made snuggies with a sleeve for my morning wood, id consider buying one...
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
I just woke up with a bunch of French fries in my hand and a chocolate shake balancing on my pillow. Lovely.
By midnight I was dipping doritos in frosting...that's how my simmer break diet is going.
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
The cop was more concerned with the syringes on the dash board than looking for the source of the smoke. Thank god for diabetes!
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
You told him about your cats? I told his friend to put his dick in my mouth, and you talked about cats!?
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
I wish more of my problems were easily solvable by taking a good long shit.
I'll be perfectly honest; there are times other guys have consented to have sex with me because of my punctuation.
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
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