i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
Looking for things to spread butter on. Found men's briefs in garbage can. Lost insurance card. Summer has finally arrived
Fucken Tweens. They smelled like cotton candy and hand jobs my nostrils were offended.
I fucking love my neighbors. I offered him chocolate and somehow it turned into a sexual proposition.
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
if my uterus stops caving in on itself long enough for me to be alive I'm there
It's not Christmas until you get a photo from an ex wearing a Santa hat and red boxers... And then you just respond with, "nope."
Have you ever given your heart and soul to someone and they turn out to be nothing but a great fuck that makes a mean grilled cheese because same
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
Randomize
