I need to stop sleeping with republicans and cowboys fans.
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
The only thing worse than being hungover is being hungover and not able to open your mouth wide enough to eat a cheeseburger
After I finished inserting the catheter he said he thought my name was familiar. Didn't have the nerve to tell him he was my fifth grade teacher.
I'm considering offering a class on how to find good porn.
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
I'm determined to sit on that face.
I butt dialed her mom while cheating on her. Needless to say Christmas will be awkward.
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
Randomize
