Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
shouldve known this week was gonna be bad when I threw up in my coffee mug
My wrist bandage is guacamole stained. What an accurate representation of my life as a whole
My mom made me write an apology letter to all my family for hijacking the eggnog.
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
Well, I saw an Olympian's genitals tonight, so it can't be that bad.
I just sang beautiful by Christina Aguilera to a kebab. This is what my life has come to.
He told me that his greatest skill was making White Russians.
I gave myself a charlie horse masturbating this morning. I feel like that really set the tone for the day.
Me-World Problems: do I have my boyfriend come to my birthday party in drag, or is that too weird for the first time meeting literally any of my friends
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
Randomize
