im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
The dentist just called my mother to confirm the appointment that I made on his answering machine at 4:33 am this morning..
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
The bartender from Thursday remembered me... And gave me a FLAMING BUCKET of alcohol.
I am literally sitting on the toilet in utter disbelieve that last night even happened. My god that was only Monday.
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
whenever he tweets that he wants to get blackout it's like a neon sign for "i want to bang you tonight"
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
The only person more miserably hungover from the party is the dog, and that's because he ate some balloons
She's still mad at me for saying she looked pregnant and not getting her chicken nuggets.
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
I would throw a dart into the Olympic ceremony and fuck whoever it hit
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