Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
I hate when you've made an ugly girl's day by having sex with her, and then she gets greedy and wants to cuddle after you cum.
i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
I just recorded myself pooping, then uploaded to google drive, then connected to my pc through teamviewer then downloaded it, then played it to the living room while still pooping. God I love the internet.
you showed up at my door at 3am, handed me a bag of cold chicken nuggets and said "lead me to the non-irish Siobhans," do YOU think you were tripping?
I'm eating pizza in the bathtub
You called your ex, and talked to her for an hour about how you miss her, came back inside and asked the girl with the biggest tits if you could take a pic with your face in them and sent her the picture.
I spent half my night explaining that i'm in an open relationship to the guys that I liked, and the other half of the night explaining that I have a boyfriend to the guys that I didn't like.
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
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