this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
Those motion detector trash cans don't work fast enough to catch puke.
You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
This girl just introduced herself as Queefer Sutherland. She's on a roller derby team. What. The. Fuck.
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
I met her dad while holding 4 empty beer bottles at the opera house. I think I made a hell of an impression.
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
i am one UTI away from banning your fingers from my vagina
On a scale of zero to "unmitigated disaster," how drunk is he?
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
So here's my pathetic thought of the day: what does it smell like to be sober?
There is a special place in hell for people who only eat the center of the pot brownies.
Randomize
