you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
No, I didn't like him that much. But I took one for the team. And by the team I mean me and my vagina.
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
She came to the party with six kegs and a life sized portrait of Lavar Burton. SHE WILL BE MY WIFE.
Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
By the way if you come home and I'm not wearing pants, just go with it. I didn't have the energy to go searching for some.
I feel as though sleeping all day due to the effects of prescription painkillers paid for by union insurance made this the most American day ever for me
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
Don't worry, the house smells like waffles more than sex
I think the saddest part about my sex life is that most of it is pity sex.
Last night at the bar you we're seriously going up to people and pushing through them like they were bowling pins and you were a bowling ball
I got a hand job after work. Remember those? From the 90s...
Yeah well, last time I said I wasn't having a big night I was being strangled in somebody's spare bed
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