weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
New rule: no balls on the kitchen counter.
WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
i think i scared a bird with my dick
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
just found out i can blow out the flame on the grill lighter fill my mouth with butane and ignite a fireball
Side note. I love it when I think I've sobered up and then I get a second wind of drunk
Idk I've been drinking all day and they're having me blow shit up. Like dont let the drunk chick play with fire and explosives. Common sense 101. I will fuck something up
That was the night, like, my hair caught on fire...
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
Random boy motorboated me, handed me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, winked and walked out with some other girl
Find him and marry him.
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
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