so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
I'm going to use my one free fuck up card tonight.
What'd you do?
Its more like what im about to do.
you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
Getting stoned and going to costco. If i'm not back by dawn, you know what to do.
I ran a string through all of my old vicodin bottles and strung them on the tree. Tis the season.
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
I. Did. In fact. Sprain. My liver. This. Weekend.
I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level.
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
Randomize
