This random guy asked me if I had downs. I was like up yours! And I got out of his car.
new low: just stole a ciggarette from a bum sleeping on the side of the street.
ohh what kind?
Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
You threw a bottle at the bartender and then stole his tip jar. However, you were quickly KO'd by the bartender. Solid right hook.
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
Due to your tardiness, I'm saving you my tab
I woke up with a stapler in my ass. Don't even complain to me.
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
I'm so hungover I can't taste anything
Too bad I can't un-pee in his body wash
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
Are you telling me right now that the weed man sexted you?
THE WEED MAN SEXTED ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Randomize
