I swear if she hugs me I'm going to bleach my body
....ANDDD I just became confused during sexting and sent my mother a text describing a "porno-worthy cum shot."
How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
260 beers this month. I need a new hobby.
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
Do you remember making out with the dude in the back of my cab last night?? You said his mustache tickled your tongue.
ten seconds after he was done making out with the blonde, he rips off his jacket and screamed "Goddamn it, you know I like brunettes"
I have never seen someone so pissed at getting some. i called dibs so fuck him
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
What has my life become? I'be officially recruited my fuck buddy for help getting my ex back.
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
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