weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
cracked out the beer snorkel again. that thing has a five for five record of getting me naked.
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
I'm playing a little game called "how many shots of jack can I take before I become a shit show tonight". All front row seats are sold out.
Confidence is key. All I had to tell him is I'm drinking a bottle of wine and eating chocolate today to celebrate that I love myself. That's how you get a Valentine, my friend.
my taxi driver is listening to 50 shades of grey audiobook. this is uncomfortable.
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
I just set an alarm for 5 am tomorrow morning titled "Wake and Bake Its Christmas motherfucker"
Like, I want sex but I also would be okay with Netflix
I CAN'T FALL IN LOVE WITH SOMEONE WHO HAS A LISP. I JUST CAN'T.
Randomize