By the way the fattest man alive got married yesterday and I don't even have a boyfriend.
We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
Somedays I wish I were a bird. Then people wouldn't be so grossed out when I vomit
i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
I drunkenly sent a picture of my scrotum to the entire baseball team last night
the bouncer made me realize that puking in line does not get you in any faster
We don't need a hotel, we'll just sleep in the post office.
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
its 3am and I'm taking a bubble bath, this is what taking a day off work at 30 looks like
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
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