he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
He just walked into my room in a robe with a cooking pot of cereal.
when you tell me you got me a birthday present, I have to assume it will show up in a drug test.
I have got to stop getting laid on my lunch breaks. I AM SO HUNGRY RIGHT NOW.
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
It's very rude to dive mouth-first into someone's crotch without knowing if their wife is cool with it.
Is it sad or funny that I just bought two pregnancy test at the dollar store to give away to people on New Year's Eve while driving for Uber.
I'm gonna go parent style on your ass... I don't ask much from you but if you could please just come get shitfaced with me I would really appreciate it
I knew how blacked out you were when you started doing that thing where you dance around and call yourself the Black Swan.
You know, I'm starting to enjoy brazilians. One day I'm going to make a therapist very very happy.
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