OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
I have way too many pictures of poop on my phone
Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
its official now. im not pissing on secret service cars with a senators inside anymore.
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
I just realized there's an entire generation of children that will never know Alex Trebek had a mustache... Sad.
sometimes i wish i had boobs. not on me. just like in a drawer.
Just filled the brita up in the bathtub because we couldn't get it into the sink.
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
Guy hitting on me at bar is guy who's Craigslist ad we laughed at the other night. Not even kidding.
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
Also, McDonald's breakfast is now 24/7. This is it. This is how I die. Face first in a pile of hashbrowns.
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
Randomize
