I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
Um....sorry for hooking up with your brother last night...
Actually i take that back. You dropped the whiskey last night and broke the bottle. Were even
I have got to stop making out with redheads. I need to sign my life over to my dad like Britney Spears.
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
On a scale of 1 to "bad descision", where does stealing my racist neighbors dog and giving him my roomates dildo for a chew toy rate?
Please stop letting me make out with hot lesbians.
Definitely not. I may be your best friend, but first and foremost I am a guy. Please continue.
Next time she asks for a ride to her "cousins" house and it turns out to be a booty call we're charging her for each mile.
You know it's going to be a good night when you're barking by 8:20.
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
According to Joseph, last night I crawled into bed and told him to pretend I'm his French maid, and then started speaking with a German accent, and referring to his manbits as "ze greatest Weiner schnitzel I'd ever seen". Basically, last night was a roaring success.
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
Randomize
