Apparently you make a good broom.
I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
now i know why i became what i already was.
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
I wish Samuel L. Jackson would narrate our bar crawls
He wore nothing but a Speedo and a tie to the party. It was great. Everyone was looking at him like "this kid's the best"
He walked into the pizza shop... Pulled the fire alarm.. And proceeded to dance to it...
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
You were drunkenly dancing with a statue you affectionately referred to as "The Captain." I wasn't going to deny your happiness.
My friend came into the apartment in real handcuffs at 4 in the morning. She was laughing and running around and then proceeded out the door...
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
That awkward moment when you realize you've been secretly blackout dating someone for three months. Drunk me is in a committed relationship.
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