Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
I think i sorta joined a cult last night
sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
Just got kicked in the balls by a girl in tap shoes. Fuck EVERYTHING
So he just rolled over in his sleep and said "that's a punctuation mark..."
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
Dont be alarmed when you find the maintenance guy passed out on your couch. I didn't to explain why I was there so I offered him a drink, I dont know what happened after that.....
She kept telling me to calm down. I was on the floor with my eyes shut, not moving. In levels of calm I was one step above coma patient
My stalker sent me an erotic poem. Who knew anyone could find a way to rhyme birth and girth so eloquently?
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
so this maintenance guy stood at the corner of my cubical and scratched his balls for like a full minute cause he thought no one could see him
Woke up with a padlock locked onto my ear gauge and the first of many sticky note clues on my chest leading to the key.
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
That moment when you’re at the doctor to give a sperm sample you’re only getting 3G so the porn is buffering
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