Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
I just watched my mom open a wine bottle with an electric drill. I have never been so proud.
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
I think I fixed my testicle. That's why I didnt pay $25 for a doctor to do it
I told him he was probably the first guy to get fucked while wearing Star Wars pyjamas.
We see some guy emerge from the forest on the island this morning, alone, in only a snuggie. Morning shots and bagels on us for the number one walk of shame.
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
Must've forgot to hang up with her when I was telling Josh I plan to pop champagne if I nail her tonight. She showed up with a bottle and said "only if we can toast it with Josh"
I woke up with my phone plugged into an extension cord in my garage. No clue how I got home. Videos of me flogging my roommate with my set of keys telling him he's the worst roommate ever. And my mom woke me up at 8am asking how to make a DVD...Goddamnit first Friday.
I woke up and saw that my last google search was "Bacon neck".
Randomize
