Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
i just met rob pattinson in italy. he's so stupid, i feel like i would have to say "your penis goes here!"
after drinking 6 jumbo margaritas he then proceeded to tell the entire restaurant that he was going to "bust a load in me" when we got home....how do you think the rest of my night went?
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
Can you explain to me why I woke up with my hands tied to the hotel bed with the phone cord???
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
stop bragging. last time i got laid i got double pink eye, and it was so not worth it
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
Note to self don't give these guys your number. I've seen more dick tonight than a proctologist sees his whole career
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
Randomize