We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
We've already decided our costumes for next Halloween. She's going as Cookie Monster and I'm going as Elmo. She's just going to ask for Oatmeal Cookie shots, and I'm asking for Red-Headed Slut shots.
Dude, its January.
We're going to do the voices too.
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
what happened last night?!
you took a shot and then laid down on our kitchen table and passed out.. then when we tried to move you to the couch you screamed "no! i love tables"
i just read a article called "Booze, Drugs, and Bipolar Disorder"... i think someone is writing the memoirs of my life
Randomize
