You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
You need to tell your booty call to take some sudafed or something. I swear I thought you were humping Kermit the frog last night
Escaped ambulance. Meet me at your apartment.
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
Wish i knew who the f is sending me pics of asian newborns.
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
Why is there bacon braided in my hair
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
OH MY GOD! I CAN FEEL A PULSE IN MY BALLS IT HURTS! ITS LIKE MINI FEMINIST NINJAS ARE ATTACKING MY BALLS!!!
Can you come get me? I woke up in the woods behind the Super 8. I have pizza.
He left stubble rash on my thighs and cooked me bacon before 9am. I need to lock this down STAT
I told him I might be pregnant and he said he'd buy me a test and a twix bar. I'm marrying him. Tomorrow.
Randomize
