I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
Dude, she introduced me to her best friend form Russia and she was a 10. Her other Russian friend was even hotter. How did communism fail?
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
i wish i had a super power and that that super power was shooting out mdma from my fingertips or something
Did I really just find a cheez- it box full of condoms in your room?
We're in the emergency room. He concussed himself trying to pop all the bubbles on my "one bubble a day" wall calender with his face.
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
Hooked up with an ex Playgirl model. I feel like the universe just high-fived me for staying sober.
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
I wish I could accurately explain the embarrassment of standing in your bathroom with women's nair on your ass waiting to get in the shower.
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
Randomize
