Why is half of me covered in green stuff that won't come off?
You stripper-danced on a light pole in the quad. It had fresh paint on it.
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
The stripper had a daughter my age and offered to introduce us. I didn't know what to say to that.
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
She flashed them and they let her pay with Monopoly money. I'm married, so it is your obligation as my best man to repeatedly fuck her for me
I used the hope and guess method to figure out who I slept with last night.
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
I just need to get a little drunker before I realize I'm not straight
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
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